Confidence

On Friday the 13th, I got the call that every parent dreads: Your child has been in an accident and I'm taking him to the Emergency Room.  While I was at the gym, my husband talked our 14 year old son into going on a quick mountain bike ride on a nearby trail.  As they were coming down the hill, Ian crashed and went over the handlebars hitting the ground with his face.

My husband called me and said that Ian had wreaked on his mountain bike and that his braces were stuck in his lip and that he was pretty beat up.  He said that he was worried that Ian had broken his nose and maybe needed stitches so he would meet me at the ER.  Luckily for Ian, nothing was broken, they were able to get his lip out of his braces without too much fanfare and he only needed 4 stitches on a L-shaped laceration on his upper lip and under his nose.

On the drive home, I asked Ian what happened.  He told me that he was being cautious coming down because he really didn't have "very good self esteem about riding downhill" since he had crashed on 2 other occasions.  My heart ached for him.   Here he had finally found something that he liked, that he could do with his dad, and that he was good at - and now what little confidence he had about it was totally shattered.

These past few days, I have thought a lot about his experience, it's effects on not only my son, but also on his dad.  They both are going to have a hard time getting back the confidence and self-assurance that they had before.  My husband has beat himself up about the could'ves, should'ves, would'ves.  Ian knows that he needs to get back on the bike and ride again, but fear is holding him back a little bit.

We all have fears.  These fears are what hold us back!!!

As I have mentioned in past posts:  I love to run.  LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it.  However, I compare myself to others ALL THE TIME.  I compare my times to my friends that are blowing me out of the water.  Many of them have qualified for Boston, which I only dream of doing.  I have been running consistently for 10 years now.  I am getting ready for my 5th marathon.  I have ran 8 half marathons.  But I am still pretty slow.  I have tried to break the 4 hour marathon and 2 hour half marathon for many years now, to no avail.  Right now, my confidence has been shaken and I am afraid of failure.

On Sunday, I was telling my husband about this and that I didn't know why I wasn't seeing the improvements that I want.  I seem to be doing all the training necessary, so what is holding me back???  Is it my body fat, am I not pushing myself hard enough, is it mental, is it my diet???   As I have been thinking about this and also my son's bike accident I have wondered:

How many of us have let fear shatter our self confidence?

Maybe I'm not fast, maybe I have lost and gained the same 5-10 pounds over and over to the point that I can safely say that I have lost 100 pounds by now!!!  Maybe I won't ever look like my BFF, Monica.  Maybe I won't be a dancer for a Madonna video (yep, that was once a dream of mine too).  

BUT I'm still pretty awesome!  I still can do lots of things.  I might not ever win a race, but I can be ME!  I can keep running because I LOVE it.  It makes me feel good and keeps me from going up in a pants size.  It gives me that rush of endorphins that keeps me from going completely insane.

So the point of all of this:

DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS!!! Don't be afraid of not being the best.  Be excited to just be the best YOU!!!  Look at only YOUR own improvements and accomplishments.  Be you, because you are amazing!!!  OWN IT!!!  Own that you are incredible.  Have the confidence to get up and get out the door.  Try something new.
Because YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS!!!