12 Week Challenge: Catching up on days 2-6

I don't know why, but I have had absolutely no interest in sitting down and writing this blog this week.  All week I would think of what I would write, I kept notes in my weight training and food journals, and I stuck with my program.  However, I never got down to composing posts throughout the week.  I'll just sum it all up.  I lifted heavy weights (for me), I ate nutritious foods and I did not eat sugar or sweets of any kind.  The only splurge I have had is applesauce in my morning oatmeal, this is my new favorite.  2 tbsp is all I add and it is super delicious.  I have almost gone through 5 dozen eggs this week.  I have really been focusing on getting my veggies in and cutting back on fruits.  I have also found that my body doesn't like nuts.  I have been getting terrible stomachaches since I started clean eating.  I used a process of elimination to try to figure out what was causing the problem.  When I cut out the walnuts from my oatmeal and nuts as a snack, the problem did not occur.  I have also cut out dark chocolate, which I think was also contributing to the problem.  I'm wondering if it is the fat in these foods that my body has a hard time processing.

I have spent this past week obsessing over whether I am eating enough or too much and whether or not I am doing enough weight training and cardio.  I have heard and read about how our bodies like to eat muscle when we are trying to lose body fat, so this makes the eating and exercise even more important.  I struggle with making two dinners-one for me and one for my family.  Often I can just make a variation of mine, such as last night I made pasta with ground turkey marinara sauce.  Instead of pasta, I put mine over grilled zucchini and I ate a side salad with lots of veggies.  Other nights I just made what was easy, trying to keep it clean for my family, while I ate some of my pre-made foods.

I have had quite a bit of self doubt this week (as usual).  I have questioned why I have done this challenge.  I dread getting my picture taken again in 11 weeks and there being no noticeable change.  I have had to constantly remind myself that I did this to motivate me, that this is for me.  I really did need a kick in the butt since I have started to plateau and I wasn't really doing anything to change that.  Now, I seriously scrutinize every single bite that goes into my mouth.  On Tuesday, there were cinnamon rolls and orange rolls and dark chocolate cupcakes at work.  Pastries are not my first love, so I was able to pass those over without a second thought, but those cupcakes are divine.  I decided that I wasn't going to have one, not even a taste.  So when my coworker asked me if I wanted to split one with her, I was able to say no and that I wasn't even going to have one bite.  I decided that one bite wasn't worth the hours of guilt I would feel later.  I also have been sticking to what I bring in my cooler.  On Wednesdays I try to go to Kettlebell class at the gym after work.  It was a super busy day and I was so hungry by 5 pm.  Luckily, I did have some decent snacks in my car, but they were not the best choices.  I learned from that experience that I need to make sure that I have one extra clean meal in my cooler.

I really hope that I am doing enough, pushing myself hard enough and eating right.  I initially set out to do this on my own, but really I have had a ton of outside help.  I am constantly getting advice from Priscilla, my clean eating and running buddy.  I have also used my friend Monica, an instructor at the gym, and Evelyn, a trainer at the gym, as resources.  Most of all, I read Tosca Reno's books.  I just got two more of her books this week.  One is for weight training and the other is my own copy of her clean eating diet (I have borrowed Priscilla's in the past).  Hopefully I am figuring this whole thing out.  I just wish that I had more time, this last week went by way too fast!